To my annoyance, last week the background on my site stopped working. When creating a background, I edit the HTML for sizing, spacing, etc (formatting junk) and then create an image in another program which I then upload to the net and link to in the HTML. Well, my link became invalid and try though I might, I couldn't get the darn thing to work for me. I'm no expert in this field.
Thus began the long and grueling job of creating another template to use. To decide, I thought of the verses in the Bible that have had an impact on my life. There are quite a few. But I've found that a constant source of strength and comfort to me has been the promise of the Lord's presence and faithfulness throughout life's up and downs, even when I mess up.... badly. With this in mind, I chose the verses from which to build a theme for this blog.
I was baptized when I was sixteen. I asked my youth pastor to do the deed, and I still cherish that role he played in my life. I remember standing nervously back stage with him, hearing the church announcements echoing back to us through the hallway to the baptismal tank. I hung up the towel I had been nervously clutching, and Ryan said, "Ready?"
"Ready."
I remember that the water in the tank was warm, warm enough that I didn't want to get out. I gingerly made my way down the tank stairs, the water lapping at my feet, then my knees, then my belly button. We wadded together from where we seemed so alone, around the corner to where a hundred eyes zeroed in on me. I was so nervous.
Ryan said his bit, I don't remember any of it (I was just focused on trying to control my shaking enough so that at very least the people in the back row wouldn't see it), but I'm sure it was very good. Eventually he nudged me, and I knew it was my turn. I took one step towards the microphone. I read the sign hanging just below it - "DO NOT TOUCH. YOU COULD BE ELECTROCUTED", and felt like giggling. I forgot what I was supposed to say or do... and then I looked down and saw a damp, smudged piece of paper in my hand. So I read from it.
"Hast thou not known? Hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? There is no searching His understanding.He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: But they that wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." - Isaiah 40:28-31
And then Ryan dunked me, and everything went completely silent. For a moment. And then I came up and the congregation erupted in applause. That was that. Seems like it was a long time ago.
At the time when I picked those verses from Isaiah to read, I had just come across them in my devotions and they were completely new to me. I felt as though I had discovered treasure, verses that applied specifically to me and spoke directly into my life. Now, almost 5 years later, I've realized that they are some of the most popular and referenced bible verses. For good reason, I suppose.
I've come back to Isaiah 40 again and again throughout the last few years. The metaphoric, poetic way it is written appeals to me. To mount up on wings like an eagle.... to run and never get tired.... that's powerful stuff, folks. It paints a beautiful picture in my mind. I've often needed strengthening, I've often needed to be reminded of God's ability to lift me up and lift me out.
Mostly, I've done my share of falling. Sometimes it's been more of a trip - I'll stumble, swing my arms wildly to regain balance, and manage (barely) to stay upright. Other times I've just tumbled face first to the ground. Violently, ungracefully, obviously. Recently I've recovered from the biggest fall of my life, it was a fall so terrible that it's left deep scars. But each time the Lord has been faithful and just to forgive me of those sins, those times when I have fallen away. And not only forgive, but uplift me - give me strength and courage to go on. It's humbling, I'm so filled with awe when I think about it. I'm so grateful. So, so grateful.
And so, because these verses have a constant influence and impact on my life, I've chosen to base my theme on them. I am fallen, falling is what I do best. But I wage war daily against my flesh, beating it into submission, and victory is becoming more and more common. I'm reminded of Paul's famous and oft quoted words in Romans 7:
"For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am carnal, sold under sin. For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do. If, then, I do what I will not to do, I agree with the law that it is good. But now, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. For i know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find. For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. Now if I do what I will to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me.I find then a law, that evil is present in me, the one who wills to do good. For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man. But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? I thank God - through Jesus Christ our Lord!"
Who doesn't relate to that?! Every time I read it, my heart is pierced.
There you have it. This is the new layout. And that is why the layout is how it is. Hope you like it!
