See ya '09

That last day of another year. It always catches me by surprise, this passing of time. I keep trying to stop it - or at least see it go by. But like breath, it's imperceptible. Until it's gone.

So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.

That's what Moses prayed. And of late, it's my prayer too. I don't want to find myself sad that more time has passed. After all, isn't such sorrow simply because I didn't make the most of each moment? Not in a "be all that you can be" or carpe diem sloganeering way, but in a faithful stewardship, fruitful for the kingdom sort of way.

And so again, tomorrow I will spend some time thinking through my priorities and set goals for the new year. A clean slate. A fresh start. As much as I'm wistful over this year's ending, I'm excited about the new year's coming!

Just as this last day gives me pause, and even a pang of sorrow for opportunities lost - moments that will never be again - so tomorrow's first day fills me with joy and wonder. So much possibility. What will the next season hold?

I'm ever thankful for a God - our loving heavenly Father - who gave us time. When we use it for His glory, it's a gift.

And so, with Moses, I pray,

O satisfy us early with thy mercy; that we may rejoice and be glad all our days. Make us glad according to the days wherein thou hast afflicted us, and the years wherein we have seen evil. Let thy work appear unto thy servants, and they glory unto their children. And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us: and establish thou the work of our hands upon us; yea, the work of our hands establish thou it.

Lord, help me. Guide me into your will and help me to be a good steward of the days, hours and minutes ahead. Amen.

Another Christmas

Am I too young to be feeling nostalgic around Christmas time? Sometimes I can feel as though I am so incredibly old, although not at all wise... which is one of the only upsides to aging that I can see.

I spent Christmas and Boxing day in Vancouver, visiting family. We started at my Oma and Opa's house (dad's parents), migrated to my aunt and uncle's (dad's sister), and then made the long drive to my Omi's apartment(mom's mom).

In each place I was repeatedly reminded of the increasing age of those I have always known and loved. With no cousins, my brother and I are the youngest in our immediate family, with the next youngest already in their 40's.

I was looking around the table and thinking, "What are we going to do once their gone?" Christmas for me has always been about sharing food and laughter with these people... but as their mortality becomes more and more clear (aches and pains), I'm forced to realize that we won't be together forever.

There was one point during Christmas dinner that we went around the table and shared a memory of Christmas from when we were younger. I thoroughly enjoyed hearing the stories of those in their 80's who grew up in Germany, Austria, and the Ukraine; Christmas was so different for them... more like it should be. And when my turn came around I realized that when I am their age, looking back at my childhood, it will be these people and their stories that I'll be talking about with an ache in my heart. This loud, eccentric crowd of Germans, always shouting over each other, always speaking half the time in a language I don't understand. It will be dinners like the very one I was eating that I will remember with longing, and traditions like the one's we kept that I will make sound so delightful.

And so I realized that someday, these Christmases that are so beautiful and full of warmth, love, and belonging will be just a memory, foggy remembrances that I will try to cling to and recall as much of as possible. Of course, they will be replaced with traditions that are just as beloved and people who are equally as cherished, and life will go on. Just as it always does.

Maybe one day I'll sit at the head of the table as the matron of a family and talk about what Christmas was like when I was a girl. Some teenager down at the other end of the table will be playing with her fork in an attempt to stay awake, and I'll smile one of those secret smiles that old people seem to favor, knowing.

Strange little life we live, isn't it? So short, so perfect.

Vacation at last

I'm home at last from our vacation up island to Mt. Washington. It was a lovely time and exactly what I needed after so many weeks of never-ending and difficult work. I wouldn't say that it was completely relaxing, because every day was jam packed with activities... but I think that the word 'refreshing' fits quite perfectly. I got to play for hours with my beloved new camera lens, explore wintery wonderlands, dig snow tunnels, and read john keats by a warm fire.

My favorite moment? Yesterday night. Earlier in the day my dad and I had sat at the Nordic Centre and dreamt up the idea of a wonderous snack... and so later the boys made a midnight trek outside and returned with a bucket of snow. We each helped ourselves to a bowl of it, and then dosed the stuff with the purest of maple syrups. It was SOOO very Canadian! We sat, ate maple syrup snow, and said things like, "This is great, eh?" and, "What are you talking a-boot?". I've never felt so patriotic. haha.

Ah. So happy.

Those crazy Brazilians

Check out this news article from the BBC: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8416667.stm

Poem Sunday - Dec 13th 09

I've decided that I will make a real effort to make all Sundays 'Poem Sunday'. For me, poetry and art allow a way of expressing what I am otherwise unable to. And when even that won't do, I can usually turn to the art and poetry of those more experienced and famous than me. So, as I read through poetry in my spare time, I'll make note of the ones I most identify with/move me the most, and share them here. Usually they relate to what's going on in my life at the current time... much like the Bible passages that move me most at a particular time are the ones that most relate to my current situation. Other times, I just think they're pretty. Does that make sense? Hope you enjoy it, it's a taste of what's inside me in a way... I guess. S

Devotion - Robert Frost

"The hear can think of no devotion

Greater than being shore to the ocean--

Holding the curve of one position,

Counting an endless repetition."

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings - Maya Angelou

"A free bird leaps in the back

Of the wind and floats downstream

Till the current ends and dips his wing

In the orange suns rays

And dares to claim the sky.

But a BIRD that stalks down his narrow cage

Can seldom see through his bars of rage

His wings are clipped and his feet are tied

So he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings with a fearful trill

Of things unknown but longed for still

And his tune is heard on the distant hill for

The caged bird sings for freedom.

The free bird thinks on another breeze

And the trade winds soft through

The sighing trees

And the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright

Lawn and he names the sky his own

But a caged BIRD stands on the grave of dreams

His shadow shouts on a nightmare scream

His wings are clipped and his feet are tied

So he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings with

A fearful trill of things unknown

But longed for still and his

Tune is heard on the distant hill

For the caged bird sings for freedom."

Meat without Animals... would you eat it?

Check out this article, it's totally given me the freaks:

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2009/12/12/Growing-Meat-Without-Animals--Would-You-Eat-It.aspx

Parenting: It comes naturally

Christmas Album a Requirement?

It started over a month ago: Christmas songs on the radio. But at least then they were mixed in with a variety of other, less seasonal, options. Now, the holiday favorites are all I encounter when I switch on the radio and browse through the stations. It's unavoidable. And this bombardment with songs made me start to wonder something this morning.

What if when someone is becoming a musical artist of some note, they are called into a meeting where they are told that in order to be permitted to continue on in this line of work, they must commit to producing a Christmas album at some point in their career? It certainly could be the case, couldn't it? I jest of course, but it seems like every successful artist has come out with their version of the same old Christmas carols and hymns.

I like Christmas music as much as the next person, both the secular and the Christian variety. I will always enjoy hearing Bing Crosby's "White Christmas," and Handel's Messiah never fails to send chills down my spine. My favorite of them all, "Oh Holy Night," is sung beautifully by so many artists (Celine Dion, Josh Groban, Charlotte Church, Il Divo).

Many popular acts have been putting out their own take on Christmas songs for at leeeast the past 50 years. Elvis did it. So did John Lennon. I love Nat King Cole's version of "The Christmas Song". Bizarrely, Bing Crosby and David Bowie did a duet that proves that some people's voices are just made to be together (seen here, but be patient through the corny fake dialogue, the good part starts at about 1:50 in).

But it now seems that everyone has to produce a Christmas album! It's one thing to write a new song unique to you, as Elvis and John Lennon did. Jethro Tull's "A Christmas Song" is but an extension of their usual fare.

But I just find it awful (forgive me) when someone whose musical style doesn't lend itself to Christmas music still tries to adapt some holiday songs. I mean... Bob Dylan!? I half expected the lead song to be "Buh Naah Guh Bo Duhh Buh Wuh Dah" (Translation: "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"... anyone whose heard that guy sing knows what I'm talking about). I generally like Dylan too, but this is one album I think I'll skip. And Reo Speedwagon!? Goodness, those guys were SO 35 years ago! Why plague us with a gimmicky album? Try coming up with something new for a change. haha.

If a musician wants to come up with a new album, I'm willing to listen. But I find myself turned off by the apparently naked opportunism of Christmas albums. No thanks.

Do I sound like a Scrooge?

The pinecone girl

To get to my bus stop from school, I walk down this really steep hill from the back of campus. Today while I was making this exact journey, there was a girl huffing and puffing her way up in the opposite direction. She was carrying this giant pinecone that a unique shape... kind of circular. When we got close enough, she flashed me a huge toothy smile and held up the pinecone proudly. Then we kept walking.

It was just one of those beautiful moments in life.

Experiments with monochrome

A little taste of my latest forays into photography...

A realization of winter

Walking to my class this morning, I crunched my way through grass made brittle from frost, and watched two flocks of geese flap by overhead on their way to warmer climates. A little girl toddled past me so bundled up in coats and mitts and scarves, she looked wider than she was tall.

It's officially winter, my friends.

Certified to SAVE LIVES

THE TALE OF MY STANDARD FIRST AID/CPR CERTIFICATION:

Before I'm able to start clinical practice next semester, I need to be certified in First Aid. Makes sense, right? So me and 2 of my girlfriends signed up to get certified this past weekend, after months of putting it off.

I'll admit I went in with a pretty bad attitude. I remember doing this course 3 years ago (expires after 3 yrs - hence me taking it again) and it being incredibly grueling... the hours dragging past. So I expected the same thing again. Instead, I ended up learning SO much and actually having a lot of fun.

Three Factors Made It Bearable -->

1)Our instructor, Justin, had an amazing sense of humor. I can't stress how much a difference that makes

2)I was with friends, so we talked and joked and went to Logan's Pub for dinners afterwards because another friend from our program works there.

3)We had TONS of practice. For every hour that our instructor talked, we spent an hour practicing the skill... so out of the 16 hours of the course, 8 of those hours were spent doing the skills. This is how it worked: After a morning of Justin teaching, we had lunch then came back and broke into partners. One of the people in the pair would leave the room, and the other would stay and Justin would set them up with some kind of elaborate injury or medical emergency. He had a whole box of fake blood, skin with bones coming out of it, harmful objects, etc, etc, etc. So when the other half of the class came back into the room, the room was filled with people all suffering from various horrifying injuries, and they had to find their partner, find out what was wrong with them, and then act appropriately. It was actually kind of stressful at times, but more than anything I had a lot of fun with it.

So, this weekend I: had hypothermia, an allergic reaction to a bug bite, slit my wrists, got knocked unconscious by a piece of cement, and got second degree burns on my hands. I also saved the life of someone: having a diabetic seizure, hit my a car with their intestines hanging out, with heat stroke, with a broken leg including deadly bleeding, and suffering from a stroke.

It was like dressing up for Halloween! He painted our faces, supplied us with fancy wounds and extravagant costumes, along with imaginative, long stories about how we ended up the way we did. It was admittedly a little over-the-top... but it made it so much more enjoyable and realistic.

Afterwards, I actually feel confident in my abilities to help someone in an emergency... or for something more minor. Turned out well I think.

There was something that bothered me though. Something Justin said again and again is, "... until a health professional takes over." Now, in most 911 emergencies, it's going to be a paramedic that's first on the scene... but after the ambulance gets them to the hospital, or after the first aider drives the individual to the hospital, the care of that person will be in my hands. Unlike everyone else in the class, I can't take comfort in knowing the help is on the way and afterwards I won't have to deal with it anymore. It takes the ambulance 4-8 minutes to get there in most urban areas. Instead, I'm the one the injured person is being handed over to. That was kind of shocking to realize... but the longer I let the thought sit in my mind, the more I like the idea of it. I like that I will be trained to handle things like that, I love that I will be saving people's lives for a living. What could be better?!

Back to my old romping grounds

Today, after I dissected an eyeball in Biology, my nursing class held a health fair at a local school. Now, it was up to the students to find a place to hold the fair, and to figure out the time, etc. We called around to schools, rec centers, and other hot spots in the community... and it turned out that Lambrick Park Secondary was our best option. My old high school!

Our class of 30 broke into four teams, each with a different health focus. My group did body image, and the other groups did sexual health, drugs/alcohol, and hand washing. We spent the whole afternoon at the school, and had six grade 9 classes come to walk through our stations. It was a lot of fun, and I saw many kids I've known since they were just toddlers. It was surreal seeing them so grown up and 'cool'. I was also able to talk so some of my old teachers and share with them what I've been up to for the last couple years since I graduated.

When I first walked into the school I felt anxious and unhappy about having to be in a place I had loathed for 4 years... but upon leaving 3 hours later, I felt quite content and at peace. I'm glad we ended up at Lambrick, it was the best place for me to be. It made me remember that not everything about that place was awful... I have some good memories too :)

A quote or two I like

"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars." -Kahlil Gibran

"Does a man know any gospel truth aright till he knows it by experience? Is not this the reason why God’s servants are made to pass through so many trials, that they may really learn many truths not otherwise to be apprehended? Do we learn much in sunny weather? Do we not profit most in stormy times? Have you not found it so that your sick-bed, your bereavement, your depression of spirit, has instructed you in many matters which tranquillity and delight have never whispered to you? I suppose we ought: to learn as much by joy as by sorrow, and I hope that many of my Lord’s better servants do so; but, alas! others of us do not; affliction has to be called in to whip the lesson into us." -C.H. Spurgeon

In my own experience, I've found this to be true. Makes me think.

Ol Danny Boy

I get along splendidly with my Relational Practice teacher, who upon learning that I was a closet artist, referred me to Danny Gregory's website (found here). I'm now in awe of this man. Check him out!

VIHA fails... yet again.

My nursing class is all abuzz due to a certain news article released yesterday by the Times Colonist. Read it here, then the rest of this post will make sense :).

There were a few years when I volunteered for a homeless outreach downtown called CARTS every Friday night. It was a major part of my life for such a long time and one of the best things I've ever done for myself... but also one of the most terrifying. For the most part, the people I worked with were kind and thankful and lovely, but for the few hours we spent near the needle exchange, I was always nervous of the stumbling, muttering, often violent clientele. It was during my time working there that I realized the benefit of the program on the community. The needle exchange in Victoria was closed a couple years ago, with promises of opening a better one in the near future. Now granted, the old location had turned into a pretty nasty place... but this was because of almost zero funding and lack of knowledge on how to run such a facility. The safe injection site in Vancouver's Eastside, InSite, is truly amazing! The programs they run, and advances they've made, have had an incredible impact on the Downtown Eastside, a pretty famous neighborhood for the injection drug use and prostitution in the area.

I don't know how you feel about these facilities, and I'm not even 100% sure myself. I do feel that the pros outweigh the cons... but there are still many cons.

Recently I had to write a paper on safe injection sites for my Composition class, and I was assigned the Pro point of view. I've posted it below because I think it's a fairly good argument, however I was trying to win a debate and I don't feel as strongly about the topic as the paper makes it seem. So don't hate me! haha! But PLEASE let me know what you think, and what you're stance is on this issue.

North America’s first safe injection facility, InSite, was opened in Vancouver in 2003, and was greeted by a storm of controversy. Those opposed to such sites argue forcefully that providing addicts with a place to use drugs is encouraging their behavior, and lessens the likelihood of recovery. Increasingly common diseases and infections, such as HIV/AIDS is another worry for those against these facilities. They assert that if intravenous drugs are a main cause of these health problems, then the government should not be providing users with the means to spread them. Still others fear the effect safe injection sites will have on the neighborhoods in which they are established, claiming there will be an increase in violence and crime in the area. Addicts driven by addiction will often go to extreme lengths to feed their habit. These are certainly valid concerns, however, safe injections sites have been proven to do far more good than harm. When considering the pros and cons of safe injections sites, the positive effects these facilities have on the community safety, disease risk, and recovery rate must be considered.

While those against safe injection spots hold that they are a risk to the community, these programs, in fact, do quite the opposite. In a survey of 1,082 injection drug users, 71% reported that because of safe injection sites, they were not shooting up outside, and 56% said they were no longer disposing of dirty needles unsafely (Winnipeg Free Press, 2006). We must look at the big picture. While it is true that the existence of such sites do attract users to one particular location, the negative effects on the community of an open drug scene are very much reduced. By providing a place for drug addicts to go, the rest of the area is made much safer. Addicts no longer hang out outside of local businesses, or leave their used needles in children’s playgrounds, a danger I am sure we would all like to see diminished. Also, with these junkies more localized in just one place, they are more easily monitored by health professionals who can provide help in emergencies, and by the police who are able prevent acts of violence. The provision of kits containing needles, etc, decreases the amount of crime in a given area, as users are not as likely to be forced to go to extreme lengths to get money for materials. Clearly, the result of having safe places to use drugs is having a positive effect on communities.

Along with worrying about the danger to the community, those opposed to government funded injection sites fear the spread of disease, however the reverse is true. Often lacking in money and driven by desperation, junkies will re-use needles or perform sex acts for drug money, but a safe environment providing clean equipment helps to prevent these blood borne diseases from spreading. HIV/AIDS and Hepatitis C, the diseases of most notable concern, are both transmitted through body fluids. Therefore using a needle previously used by an infected person can be deadly, as his or her blood is coming in contact with the blood of someone who is uninfected. The job of safe injection programs is to provide new needles to drug users in an attempt to prevent the spread of these sicknesses is such a manner. They also educate their clients about how diseases, such as AIDS, are spread and what they can do to prevent contracting them. Pamphlets and educational videos are available, teaching how vaginal, oral, and anal sex are all possible mediums for infection, and condoms are available for those who need them. Dr. Evan Wood, one of the chief people involved in the study mentioned above, said, “HIV rates have also come down in the drug-riddled Downtown Eastside [of Vancouver] since InSite opened. That means health-care costs have been reduced because it costs taxpayers $250,000 to treat each person infected with the virus” (Winnipeg Free Press, 2006). Drug addicts who are educated and properly equipped are much less likely to contract an infectious disease than their peers who are without such a refuge.

There are those who think providing a safe place to for addicts to use drugs is like giving them permission to continue their addiction; however the availability of health care and support in these facilities increases the probability for recovery. The study conducted by Dr. Evan Wood found that out of the 1,082 addicts surveyed, 75% claimed the safe injection facility had positively changed their injecting behavior (Winnipeg Free Press, 2006). Instead of being out on the street alone and without resources, intravenous drug users find help and support in government safe injection programs. To some, it is a beacon of hope in a desperate time. Centers for safe drug injections do not merely hand out needles, but also provide services such as free health care, counseling, and group therapy for those looking for a way out of their addiction. There is also residential treatment available, where those in recovery find safe and protected living arrangements that are substance-free. This treatment is intensive (about 28-50 days long) and is aimed at reintegrating former addicts into society. While it may be true that drug addicts find using drugs easier with a safe injection site, it is impossible for them to go there and no be offered support and help to get better. When they decided it’s time to step away from their addiction, instead of feeling hopeless and trapped, they know where to go and are provided with the means to achieve their goals. These programs will even help to find recovered addicts homes and jobs when they are ready. The encouragement and provision of these safe injection centers empowers an otherwise hopeless group of people, looked down upon by the rest of society, and gives them the ability to defeat their demons.

It seems clear that safe injection sites are affecting drug users and the communities in which they live for the better. The facilities attract addicts from the surrounding area and keep them in a more centralized location where monitoring their behavior is easier. Here they are also less likely to put others in dangerous situations by leaving their used needles in public areas or lashing out violently at passerbys when under the influence. The assistance these sites provide reduces the spread of disease by teaching practices that reduce risk of infection, as well as medical support in the event of an overdose or other emergency. In addition, the services available to addicts looking to recover are free, easily accessible, and proven to work. Due to a constant lack of funding, such centers are at risk of shutting down. In such an event, “there will be a backlash in Vancouver when we go back to the same patterns of needles in store fronts and people injecting in public in the tourist areas of Gastown that British Columbia will probably not tolerate it for that long” (Winnipeg Free Press, 2006). This is because safe injection sites have become such a necessary part of public health, providing an essential service to intravenous drug addicts, who are otherwise in a hopeless situation.

Sleep deprivation - one of the many joys of college

Due to the ridiculous amount of homework I had due today, I worked from the time I work up yesterday morning, until the time I went to bed... at 5:00 am this morning. Then I got up again at 7:00. I'm not kidding, and I'm exhausted. Except tomorrow I have to do a 30 minute presentation that I'm only half done, and the next day I have a term paper worth 50% of my final mark that's due, and I have only written 4 of the 8 pages I need. This is not to mention my Biology quiz today, Wednesday, and Friday.

Oh, the joys of a college education. This was NOT in the brochure!

I'm so burnt out, I'm ready for Christmas break :(

The therapy of friendship

I have found recently that when one's spirits are low, nothing works to raise them quite so well as the company of friends. At least for a while, anyways.

And I was thinking about the beneficial effect of friendships in relation to my nursing practice. I remember our teacher telling us what she had witnessed: With some patients in a coma, a family member or friend entering the room would have a noticeable effect on their vital signs... even though they were in a nearly vegetative state.

Yet, often in the hospital a nurse or technician will enter a patient's room and ask family members/friends to leave during their assessment... or relatives are forbidden from being in the room during an emergency like a cardiac arrest, etc.

Now, obviously this is due to the fact that someone unused to hospital protocol/situations may just get in the way, or panic, and thus do more damage than good.

However, I'm still convinced there are certain benefits to having a loved one present. It is calming and comforting for someone who is afraid in an unknown situation, to have someone they know and trust there to hold their hand.

I wonder what kind if effect it would have on the mortality rate of major surgeries if a loved one was there the whole time, murmuring sweet words in the ear of their friend. Hm.

Or the recovery rate of those overcoming a grave illness, if their family members were allowed to spend the night with them, cuddled up beside them on the bed.

Just thoughts, they probably require a lot more examination before i make up my mind completely. I did want to share though.

Are Canadians too polite?

Today I was taking a very busy bus to church, and a young man tripped over my foot and almost fell over. He regained his balance, and exclaimed, "I'm so sorry!" to me.

Why was he sorry? It was my foot that tripped him, there's nothing he could do about it!

I'd also like to say Grüße to my German readers! Thank you for taking an interest in me and reading my blog, it's such an honour!!

Blessings,

Brit

You know you're a great teacher when...

Two days ago, on Friday, my whole Biology class took our teacher out for lunch.

There was about 20 of us and after our lab was over at 11:30, we all hopped in each other's cars and drove down to 5th Street Bar and Grill where we spent most of the afternoon, talking and laughing. It was really lovely.

The occasion for all this? Our Biology teacher, Bill, announced last week that his cancer has returned and that he would be going into chemotherapy next week, and thus would no longer be teaching our class. When I heard this news, I was absolutely shattered, as were my classmates.

Bill has been incredible to us this semester, he is one of the most amazing teacher's I've ever had:

First of all, he us utterly brilliant.... he has a PhD in molecular biology and has written several books, he was also part of the team that discovered how a sperm propels itself. He has taught at various prestigious universities, but soon made more money than he could possibly want and retired. He and his wife moved to Victoria, and she got a job as the Head of the Nursing Department at Camosun. It wasn't long before Camosun was short staffed and asked Bill to teach a Biology class. He was growing bored at this point and accepted.

Second, building off the first point, he loves his job. He's not there out of necessity or with research as his main goal. He's there because he loves to teach and he loves the subject. When we met him on the first day of class, we all thought he was a bit crazy because of how passionate he became while talking about the internal structure of a cell (organelles, etc). But over time we grew increasingly fond of this quirky, lovable old man. His teaching style is unique and very effective, I've learnt an incredible amount from him. He's also not an evolutionist, but reminds us often that evolution is only a theory and there are other options to consider. Finally, he teaches us more than the subject matter... he'll usually spend the first half hour of class showing us new research on this or that natural remedy and what it will do. He believes in holistic and natural health, and prevention as opposed to treatment. All this I really appreciate about him.

With heavy hearts all week, knowing Bill was sick and was leaving us, we planned a farewell lunch at 5th Street, and passed around a giant card in which everyone wrote words of encouragement and love and appreciation.

Knowing all this, it's understandable that the news Bill would be with us until the end of the semester because he couldn't get into treatment was met with mixed feelings of joy and concern. He told us Friday. Joy because now we could continue to see him and learn from him daily... concern because we want him in chemo as soon as possible so he can beat this thing!

Regardless, we took him out to lunch anyways and gave him the card and a small gift. He hugged us all and talked excitedly about the material we'd be covering in the next few weeks. He seemed happy to be staying.

Afterwards, back at home, I thought about how it would feel to be a teacher in his position, and have your class take you out to say goodbye. You'd know you were doing something right... and he certainly is.

Something to cheer you up

In the free time I have (sparse though it may be) I've been enjoying following a group called 'Improv Everywhere', which is just a bunch of people that carry out spontaneous public improvisation skits, gags, etc. Mike introduced me. Hope you enjoy them as much as I do, here I'll share some of my favorites:

The beauty (?) of pregnancy

Part of my final mark for Nursing 132 is a 30 minute presentation on a certain age group and their health. My age group is adolescents (I picked them b/c I have a lot of experience with youth that age) but the girl's that did their presentations this morning did it on pregnancy and post-partum health.

In one of the girl's slideshows, the image above came up and every girl in the class cringed and uttered a gasp of horror. The lady is HUGE!

After the presentation was over, we all sat in a circle and had a discussion about the topics covered. Our teacher, Andrea (sweetest little thing you'll ever see) brought up the picture again and asked us a question (with her adorable Brazilian accent, in broken English, of course): "Why is this a negative thing to you? Pregnancy is a beautiful process and a miracle. It is a good thing." Afterwards, we had a big conversation about it and I think I've come to a conclusion about why that picture makes me feel slightly sick.

Partly, I think it's because I haven't been exposed to women who are late in their pregnancies often in my life, and when I have they've been covered up and 'hiding' their big bellies. Our culture as a whole isn't too interested in showing off pregnant tummies because of the emphasis on thinness. My unexposure to this sort of thing makes me view the image and see something that isn't normal. It looks... well, wrong. It shouldn't be the case, because what could be more natural and healthy than pregnancy? But still, it's how I feel.

Secondly, I think it's because I know it will happen to me. It's the realization that it really could be my stomach in that picture. And, frankly, that's terrifying. I'd like to think that when it happens my instincts will kick in, and I'll somehow summon the courage out of nowhere and find the whole process lovely......but really, right now it makes me absolutely petrified. I can't imagine having something that big inflating and moving inside of me! Granted, the woman in to above photo is most likely pregnant with triplets, or at least more than one baby (so says my teacher). That's a bit comforting. When I see the size of the bellies carrying just one child, it's seems much more manageable :P.

It feels like instead of being shocked by that image, I should be in awe of what my body is capable of doing... like, if someone's stomach got that big for any other reason, they're pretty much as good as dead. Yet... we don't die. In fact, we not only live, but we thrive. We carry an infant around inside us, and then we push it out of us.... and we survive. And we like it so much that we do it again!

I looked up some other images of pregnancy to make me feel better, and they definitely did. I'll share them. The more I think about what it is to be pregnant, the more I'm in stunned by the incredible process it is... especially studying in my Biology class what exactly happens the the woman's body pre and post-partum, and fetal development. It's more than just a baby growing, it's wonderfully complex. (Sorry if this post is a bit hard to read, I've gotten only 4 hours of sleep the last 3 nights and I have a midterm exam in an hour. The stress and exhaustion levels are high)

The end of October already?

Here's some images of my autumn, a wonderful season:

Midterms hit me like a brick to the head

Since I started school in September, I've been dreading these next few weeks. My first midterm is this Thursday, an anatomy and physiology test on Chapters 1-11 (including microbiology and histology which just kills me, I say if you can't see it with you're naked eye, then it doesn't exist! haha). I also have an assignment due Thursday. Then next Tuesday I have a midterm on all the skills I've learned thus far, like blood pressure, pulse, hygiene, determinants of health for every age group, etc. Following that I have a in-class essay that Wednesday, and a lab exam on the Friday (which I'm told is the hardest exam I'll ever take in my life. Great.) And every week following that one, I have at least 2 papers due a week until December 14. Gasp!

All I do is eat and sleep and study and study and study. It's incredibly grueling and I dream of a day off but don't know when I'll get it.

So, that's why you haven't heard from me lately, and that's why you probably won't again for a few days. I'll let you knowhow everything goes though, as I suffer through it.

I can NOT wait for Christmas!

an apology and an update

First off, I find that I really need to apologize for the change in format every time you look at the site. I'm really indecisive when it comes to the look of this blog, so please bear with me! Opinions welcomed. I'm liking the simpleness of this new one, the others were feeling a little cluttered.

Secondly, my class this morning! It was a couple weeks ago now that we were first introduced to blood pressure cuffs and and stethoscopes. We went over where all the major arteries lay and how to get a pulse in each of them. Then we had to practice on each other, and that wasn't so successful. The first week we found out at the very end of class that everyone had been doing it completely wrong, and the second week I knew what I was doing a little better but was still unable to ace the technique. That, along with my failure to feel an apical pulse on even myself, was getting a little frustrating. Today, in contrast, was a day of successes!

The class is 3 hours long, and we spend the first hour practicing skills. I was paired with a classmate named Vanessa and we each took a turn taking each other's blood pressure with a cuff and our fingers. Today was the first time I actually did it! It was so exciting, even though in the grand scheme of things this really wasn't that great a feat. Her blood pressure was quite low, about 115.

Then, I finally felt my apical pulse, another victory. The apical pulse is the most important pulse in the body because it is directly on the heart and thus tells us the most about how the heart is doing. It's where your doctor typically listens to your heart with that uncomfortably cold stethoscope. You know what I mean? Haha. Well, I've tried and tried in past weeks to feel it on myself. There is a really specific place to find on the chest and the directions to get there are really complicated: Find the midclavicular notch, from there slide your fingers down into the 2nd intercostal space, and over to the sternum. Then slide over again to the 3rd intercostal space and feel your way down to the 5th space. Then follow that 5th intercostal space over a bit and YOU'VE DONE IT. It's easier said that done though, especially on women because their breasts make it incredibly hard to find the spaces between the ribs (intercostal spaces). I don't even have a very large chest size, and it's still difficult... our textbook reads, "If the patient has large breasts, carefully move the left breast to one side." I guess you can't be shy in Nursing! Anyways, today I finally felt it for the first time and I was so proud of myself. We were all joking about what someone would think if they accidentally walked into our class and saw all of us with our hands down our shirts! I love this program.

To top off my day, I finally got back my paper on what health means to me that I wrote a couple weeks ago, and got 90%! I was really nervous about what my mark would be since the teacher is tough, but other than a few minor criticisms, he seemed to approve.

Other than all that... I think I'm doing pretty good. This weekend I was bitterly complaining about how much homework I had and my dad said, "Are you unhappy?" That got me thinking, and I've decided that I am most definitely happy. I LOVE this program, I LOVE my classes, I LOVE the people I get to spend my days with, I LOVE what I'm learning, I LOVE what I'm becoming... I'm just incredibly stressed out ALL the time. To me, stressed is different that unhappy.

The only other bummer right now is how tired I am. Like, I'm completely exhausted. Too much homework, too little time. This morning my alarm went off and I got up, turned it off, and... fell back asleep in bed without being conscious of it. I got woken up at 7:30 and had to run around in a panic to be ready in time. Don't worry, I made it.

Hope Thanksgiving treated you all well,

Until next time!

I'm thankful

I'm thankful for the blood in my veins and the strength of my heart in my chest.

I'm thankful for warmth of sun on my skin when I take the time to stop and enjoy it.

I'm thankful for the times I've been able to fall asleep to the sound of ocean waves.

I'm thankful for my mom and dad, who have loved me in spite of everything and who will love me no matter what.

I'm thankful a boyfriend who makes me feel more precious than gold.

I'm thankful for a brother who makes me laugh so hard I cry and who comforts me when I'm down.

I'm thankful for tea on a rainy day.

I'm thankful for the shining light of Christmas through the dreariness of winter.

I'm thankful for my grandparents and aunts and uncles and the laughter we've shared.

I'm thankful for friends whose doors and arms are always open.

I'm thankful for this country, and what it represents for those who come from elsewhere.

I'm thankful for nature's resilience despite our best efforts to destroy it.

I'm thankful for the cats who have fallen asleep purring on my lap.

I'm thankful for the Nursing Program and a future in which I can truly make a difference.

I'm thankful for all the times I've stumbled, and all the times I've had to pick myself up.

I'm thankful for the teachers who have seen my potential and pushed me in uncomfortable ways.

I'm thankful for movie nights in someone's arms.

I'm thankful for the triumph of a great achievement.

I'm thankful for the nights I've spent star gazing.

I'm thankful I was taught to love all creation and be filled with wonder with how it all works.

I'm thankful I don't mind getting dirty, and I'm happiest in a tent.

I'm thankful that I've been able to see the places I've seen, and do the things I've done.

I'm thankful for inside jokes.

I'm thankful for the smell of clean sheets.

I'm thankful for chopsticks.

I'm thankful for language and the diversity of this earth.

I'm thankful for the indescribable feeling of diving into cool, clear water, and swimming deeper and deeper until your lungs scream for oxygen and then bursting through to the surface and that first gasp of life-giving air.

I'm thankful for reminiscing with people who know me well.

I'm thankful for my dreams and hopes, and that I've been born into circumstances that make them possible.

I'm thankful for guitars at a bonfire.

I'm thankful for the people who have wronged me and how I've been challenged to forgive them.

I'm thankful for the people who have helped me when I refused to be helped.

I'm thankful for the way laughter makes me cells sing.

I'm thankful for the girls in the Nursing section, and how we've melded so well.

I'm thankful for how trees change color.

I'm thankful I'm a woman.

I'm thankful I'm ambitious and aim too high and dream too big.

I'm thankful I'm often impractical, reckless, and and impulsive.

I'm thankful for how often I've gone camping.

I'm thankful my dad has a boat and is actually willing to take me out on it.

I'm thankful for my lows and the times I've cried myself to sleep.

I'm thankful for puppies and their boundless excitement.

I'm thankful for peeper frogs.

I'm thankful for blackberries off the bush.

I'm thankful for playing tag in skates.

I'm thankful for dog walks in autumn.

I'm thankful for snow angels and woolen gloves.

I'm thankful for weekend markets selling local produce and goods.

I'm thankful for the times I've been able to comfort and help those around me.

I'm thankful for the miracle of birth and child-bearing.

I'm thankful for the sheer capacity of the human mind and what we are able to achieve with it.

I'm thankful for running through sprinklers.

I'm thankful for tomato sandwiches.

I'm thankful for walks in the rain with the promise of a warm fire and a cozy blanket at the end.

I'm thankful for tide-pools and the hours I've spent exploring them.

I'm thankful for my salvation. I still don't fully understand how someone as messy and self-centered and prideful and ignorant as me could deserve a gift so terrifyingly beautiful as the mercy of God, but I guess the whole point is that I don't deserve it. I won't question it, I'll try just to be thankful; to praise Him and His wonderful grace for all the things I wrote about above, and so much more than that... those things above are just a sampling of the wonders in my life.

I'm thankful for a season to be thankful. To take a break from being our usually critical, selfish, embittered selves and take a deep breath, look around us, and be thankful for what is.

~ Happy Thanksgiving Everyone ~